Biblical Queeries

I'm back. I was away for a bit. So what? Wanna fight about it?

I was thinking about what little I know about the bible. So, no, not a lot of thought goes into this, but I had some questions that led to more questions and I needed to get it down on theoretical/theological paper.

A lot of crazy stuff happens in the old testament. Seas parting, bushes burning, clouds talking and loads of people buying it all. What happened to all that stuff? The buying it all stuff is definitely still happening, but people have become lazy. They are just assuming things now. If all that stuff did happen, why isn't it happening anymore?

The best we can get now is secondary characters appearing in a tortilla. Is heaven in a recession? Is God laying off angels up there?

For that matter, what would a laid off angel become? Is Hell their only other option? I am sure Lucifer is hiring. With all the sin, racism, anti-semitism, hate crimes, rape, murder, child pornography, gangs, pedophiles, adultery, incest and what not going on it would seem that there is more than enough devilship to go around.

Guess that makes me feel better to know that our winged friends will have work even though us less fortunate, non-glory living souls are stuck on this rock jobless, watching the unemployment rate skyrocket. Probably shouldn't of bought that skyrocket (tribute to Mr. Show). Maybe I should send a resume on down to Satan's HR reps? Is Hell PC or Mac?

WANTED: Hate mongering, satanical go-getter with excellent written and verbal communications skills needed for a role of a after-lifetime. No bonusses and benefits include eternal damnation. Must like warm weather.

But, I digress. Back to my original point...with all the crap we are going through in today's world, how come we can't get any real divine interventions? If the bible is accurate and true and not just a book of fiction that has been translated and rewritten hundreds of times, how can anyone not say it is a farce based on the lack of evidence?

Did the big G just decide that he had spoken enough to his creations? Now that science (oooh, scary word) has proven that humans have evolved to be smarter, are we too smart to accept the word of God? Would we overly interpret it too much so as to prove it as a coincidence? Yea, I think so.

Just some of the thoughts rumbling through my rental property just above my neck. Depending on where I am standing, it could be ocean front.

And now, WWJEFL (What Would Jesus Eat For Lunch).

If I Were a Rich Man

If I had the money, and were just a touch more religious, I think I would start a Christian Rock radio station West of the Mississippi so I could have the call letters WWJD.

Nothing says 'Yay God' more than a purely hard rock song about the teachings of Christ. I am sure Jesus and his 12 buddies regularly listened to hard rock (literally...I think they only had instruments made of rocks back then) and often joined in a spirited mosh pit in recognition of his old man.

It would be fun to be a DJ at the station. You get to say things like, "Welcome back to 94.5 FM, WWJD. What Would Jesus Do? He would ROCK! You were just listening to 'I Got Soul and I am A Soldier...of God' by Joseph and the Wisemen. Coming up next we have a diddy from the JC Crew called 'GodRock.' It'll melt your bible. And we'll have more from Faith Go More right after these messages from Garden of Eden Air Fresheners. It'll remove even the smell of the devil!"

Reverse Discrimination

I used to live in San Francisco for 7 years. Now, I know what you are thinking, and let me lay your assumptions to rest…I moved out there with a woman, I married that woman, she still is a woman. So let’s just get past that.

San Francisco was a hard place to live because there is still so much discrimination. I remember a Saturday afternoon when my wife and I were walking through the Castro holding hands. I could feel the stares and mean looks and then, from over my shoulder, I hear that familiar, hateful lisp, “Do they have to do that in public? Jesus Christ!”

And, you know, it hurts. You tell yourself you can get used to it, but you just can’t. We straight people have come so far and fought so hard to be considered equals with the gays and yet, this persecution still exists. When will we finally live in a free society