Biblical Queeries

I'm back. I was away for a bit. So what? Wanna fight about it?

I was thinking about what little I know about the bible. So, no, not a lot of thought goes into this, but I had some questions that led to more questions and I needed to get it down on theoretical/theological paper.

A lot of crazy stuff happens in the old testament. Seas parting, bushes burning, clouds talking and loads of people buying it all. What happened to all that stuff? The buying it all stuff is definitely still happening, but people have become lazy. They are just assuming things now. If all that stuff did happen, why isn't it happening anymore?

The best we can get now is secondary characters appearing in a tortilla. Is heaven in a recession? Is God laying off angels up there?

For that matter, what would a laid off angel become? Is Hell their only other option? I am sure Lucifer is hiring. With all the sin, racism, anti-semitism, hate crimes, rape, murder, child pornography, gangs, pedophiles, adultery, incest and what not going on it would seem that there is more than enough devilship to go around.

Guess that makes me feel better to know that our winged friends will have work even though us less fortunate, non-glory living souls are stuck on this rock jobless, watching the unemployment rate skyrocket. Probably shouldn't of bought that skyrocket (tribute to Mr. Show). Maybe I should send a resume on down to Satan's HR reps? Is Hell PC or Mac?

WANTED: Hate mongering, satanical go-getter with excellent written and verbal communications skills needed for a role of a after-lifetime. No bonusses and benefits include eternal damnation. Must like warm weather.

But, I digress. Back to my original point...with all the crap we are going through in today's world, how come we can't get any real divine interventions? If the bible is accurate and true and not just a book of fiction that has been translated and rewritten hundreds of times, how can anyone not say it is a farce based on the lack of evidence?

Did the big G just decide that he had spoken enough to his creations? Now that science (oooh, scary word) has proven that humans have evolved to be smarter, are we too smart to accept the word of God? Would we overly interpret it too much so as to prove it as a coincidence? Yea, I think so.

Just some of the thoughts rumbling through my rental property just above my neck. Depending on where I am standing, it could be ocean front.

And now, WWJEFL (What Would Jesus Eat For Lunch).