Did you know that there is a whole underground culture of people that believe animals, or non-humans, take on human characteristics. Whether it be looks or personality, they believe that all animals are like humans in some way. They call themselves Furries.
The Furry culture has taken their beliefs beyond the realm of related characteristics. Many of them believe that through each other, they can, and should, be related sexually. You can find groups of them in chat rooms and social networks across the internet. They even have a national convention in Pittsburgh every year.
It seems that rarely do people use their real names as a screen name. It is usually some form of a pseudonym. I have decided to create a list of screen names for this community. Please vote on your favorite one. Here they are:
-Duckbillplattapussy
-Whisker Licker
-Horse Humper
-Funky Monkey Love
-Catalingus
-Porky Pig Poker “Dibbity, dibbity, dibbity…that’s my hole folks!”
-Jack Rabbit Hammer
-Fox Twat
-Muffscrat
-Porcupenis
-Muffketeer
-Chipmuff
-Skeetah
-Woodpecker
-Back Door Beaver
-Tucan Clam
-Tickle Me Tiger
-Barack O-Llama
-Dongo
-Cockateel
-Chipokememon
-Camel Toe
-Thumper
-Felching Ferret
-Donkey Punch
-Cockidile
-Enis the Anal Alligator
-Dr. Gyno Rhino
-Manapee on Me
-Pink Taco Panda
I am not sure if this group of people is divided among itself or not. Perhaps the ones dedicated to the art form of being a Furry disapprove of the ones that enjoy the mating aspect of their lifestyle. So far, I have found it hard to make any distinction between the main group and this sub group. I would like to make a suggestion so that there is no confusion. I think the sub group that believes in the mating aspects of their beliefs call themselves Fur Fuckers. Thank you very much.
For further proof, click here!
Monday, March 31, 2008
Thursday, March 27, 2008
Today's Thought
When you pass someone on the street walking a weiner dog, pick it up and tell them to go long.
Wednesday, March 26, 2008
Political Hip-Hop Lingo
I recently saw an interview with Barack Obama on BET. The portion I saw started off asking Obama what hip-hop artists he listened to. He mentioned Jay-Z and some other notable musicians, but noted he was more of an “old school” guy that mostly had Marvin Gaye and Earth, Wind and Fire style songs on his iPod. What got me so interested in this interview was the conversation that followed.
Obama, being the politician that he is, turned the conversation to social issues as all politicians do, rarely answering a question directly. He made valid points about some hip-hop music being derogatory towards women and speaking to negative aspects of society. He continued by saying he would like the artists to focus their songs more on the positive aspects of community in an effort to inspire their listeners.
What got me was the lingo he kept “dropping” during his answers. Anytime a politician tries to keep it real, they always come off sounding so lame. I know most of the country truly believes Obama is a black guy, but I am not so sure. Even dorky black dudes can use words like “real” and “down” when talking about cultural influences like hip-hop and not sound like your father trying to be a bigger part of your life. You could tell Obama was not comfortable talking like this and that only comes from not ever being a part of that lifestyle. I am sure he never listened to any hip-hop until he began his campaign and had to get in touch with his black roots.
But then I got to thinking…how would Hillary Clinton or John McCain answer the same questions? “Mrs. Clinton, which hip-hop artist has influenced your life the most?” I imagine she squirms a little bit before answering, “Well, I think they are all great, but I think Fitty’s trials and tribulations have shined the most light on me, showing me what it takes to persevere in today’s society.” Okay, maybe she could sound worse than Obama.
How about McCain? I think this line of questioning could catch him so off guard, his mind may collapse in on itself trapping his consciousness in his POW hell camp memories, forcing him to run the country with a solid focus of revenge against all asian countries. Little bit scary.
Clinton and McCain are two pretty damn white people and I do not see how they are going to be able to reach out to their non-white constituents. I don’t think I would be very good at it either, but I am not trying to run the country.
Also, HAPPY BIRTHDAY CORIE! I love you!
Obama, being the politician that he is, turned the conversation to social issues as all politicians do, rarely answering a question directly. He made valid points about some hip-hop music being derogatory towards women and speaking to negative aspects of society. He continued by saying he would like the artists to focus their songs more on the positive aspects of community in an effort to inspire their listeners.
What got me was the lingo he kept “dropping” during his answers. Anytime a politician tries to keep it real, they always come off sounding so lame. I know most of the country truly believes Obama is a black guy, but I am not so sure. Even dorky black dudes can use words like “real” and “down” when talking about cultural influences like hip-hop and not sound like your father trying to be a bigger part of your life. You could tell Obama was not comfortable talking like this and that only comes from not ever being a part of that lifestyle. I am sure he never listened to any hip-hop until he began his campaign and had to get in touch with his black roots.
But then I got to thinking…how would Hillary Clinton or John McCain answer the same questions? “Mrs. Clinton, which hip-hop artist has influenced your life the most?” I imagine she squirms a little bit before answering, “Well, I think they are all great, but I think Fitty’s trials and tribulations have shined the most light on me, showing me what it takes to persevere in today’s society.” Okay, maybe she could sound worse than Obama.
How about McCain? I think this line of questioning could catch him so off guard, his mind may collapse in on itself trapping his consciousness in his POW hell camp memories, forcing him to run the country with a solid focus of revenge against all asian countries. Little bit scary.
Clinton and McCain are two pretty damn white people and I do not see how they are going to be able to reach out to their non-white constituents. I don’t think I would be very good at it either, but I am not trying to run the country.
Also, HAPPY BIRTHDAY CORIE! I love you!
Tuesday, March 25, 2008
Listen to Yourself
I would ask a majority of people in this world to try something. I want you to walk around with a running tape recorder for one day. Then, go home and listen carefully to everything you said during the day. I think you will be quite surprised to learn that you are a moron.
It amazes me every day how people act and sound. And, as a people, we just let it happen. No one wants to be mean and tell these people to shut up and explain to them why they are a detriment to society, but maybe we need to. Maybe a quick face smack, along with an explanation, can make this world a better place.
I will be citing two examples of people I have come in contact with lately who encourage support of my face slapping crusade. I have changed their names to protect their identities. We will call the first one “Annoying Chick On The Bus” (AC for short) and “Dipshit Guy I Work With” (Dipshit for short).
Let’s start with Annoying Chick On The Bus. I have ridden the bus to and from work with AC several times. On most occasions, she is quiet and says nothing, but when she does talk, I want to rip my ears off and stuff them in her mouth to stop her from speaking any further. I am sure you have heard her diction before. Every sentence is a question. Ending each one in an upward inflection. Like, “I went to the store today?” Whether it be on the phone (you should know how I feel about this already) or talking to someone directly, she sounds like a total idiot. I feel embarrassed for her.
She does not strike me as the type of person to make life decisions on her own, so I assume she surrounds herself with morons that think and sound like her. Don’t do this. Try and break out of the mold and you will find yourself talking and thinking like a normal human being.
Now, on to Dipshit Guy I Work With. Dipshit is a little different than AC. This guy cannot say an entire sentence without cussing. And, when you can’t do this, everything you say sounds extremely stupid. Also, he is incapable of speaking in low tones. And he does this at work, in a professional environment, not to mention the legal department of a major corporation. He has admitted that this is his first real job outside of internships. Apparently he went to Redd Foxx’s School of Monosyllabic Speech with featured internships on a Brooklyn street corner. Sure, I could chalk his actions up to being young and dumb, but I don’t think he is going to change.
I don’t say these things to be mean to people. I truly believe they need to learn so they can be an upstanding member of society. I am not looking for a world full of robots, but of respectful people that aren’t so ignorant. It’s my utopia.
It amazes me every day how people act and sound. And, as a people, we just let it happen. No one wants to be mean and tell these people to shut up and explain to them why they are a detriment to society, but maybe we need to. Maybe a quick face smack, along with an explanation, can make this world a better place.
I will be citing two examples of people I have come in contact with lately who encourage support of my face slapping crusade. I have changed their names to protect their identities. We will call the first one “Annoying Chick On The Bus” (AC for short) and “Dipshit Guy I Work With” (Dipshit for short).
Let’s start with Annoying Chick On The Bus. I have ridden the bus to and from work with AC several times. On most occasions, she is quiet and says nothing, but when she does talk, I want to rip my ears off and stuff them in her mouth to stop her from speaking any further. I am sure you have heard her diction before. Every sentence is a question. Ending each one in an upward inflection. Like, “I went to the store today?” Whether it be on the phone (you should know how I feel about this already) or talking to someone directly, she sounds like a total idiot. I feel embarrassed for her.
She does not strike me as the type of person to make life decisions on her own, so I assume she surrounds herself with morons that think and sound like her. Don’t do this. Try and break out of the mold and you will find yourself talking and thinking like a normal human being.
Now, on to Dipshit Guy I Work With. Dipshit is a little different than AC. This guy cannot say an entire sentence without cussing. And, when you can’t do this, everything you say sounds extremely stupid. Also, he is incapable of speaking in low tones. And he does this at work, in a professional environment, not to mention the legal department of a major corporation. He has admitted that this is his first real job outside of internships. Apparently he went to Redd Foxx’s School of Monosyllabic Speech with featured internships on a Brooklyn street corner. Sure, I could chalk his actions up to being young and dumb, but I don’t think he is going to change.
I don’t say these things to be mean to people. I truly believe they need to learn so they can be an upstanding member of society. I am not looking for a world full of robots, but of respectful people that aren’t so ignorant. It’s my utopia.
Monday, March 24, 2008
Careful What You Say
As the parent of a soon to be 4 year old girl that shows signs of potential superior intelligence (at least she is smarter than me), my wife and I are learning that you really have to be careful what you say around your children. Even though their attention span is slightly longer than a doorknob’s, you really can’t ever tell when they are actually listening to what you say.
Case in point…this weekend my wife was helping my daughter do some painting. As she whipped up yet another colorful montage of spots she asked for a different paint color. My wife, struggling to open the jar, made mention of the difficulty she was having to my daughter. Our innocent little 4-year-old responded by slamming her fist on the table and yelling, “Dammit!” Yea, she did.
Being the parents we are, punishing our kids for something like this is virtually impossible because it is so damn funny. We usually have to leave the room after these incidents so they do not see us laughing hysterically. It is the best we can do to not encourage this behavior.
So, just remember, even though they are constantly in their little world, you never know when they are listening. We were lucky, my daughter blurted out her verbal slur in the comfort of our own home. For you, it could be the grocery store or church. Just be careful what you say 'cause they are taking it all in.
Case in point…this weekend my wife was helping my daughter do some painting. As she whipped up yet another colorful montage of spots she asked for a different paint color. My wife, struggling to open the jar, made mention of the difficulty she was having to my daughter. Our innocent little 4-year-old responded by slamming her fist on the table and yelling, “Dammit!” Yea, she did.
Being the parents we are, punishing our kids for something like this is virtually impossible because it is so damn funny. We usually have to leave the room after these incidents so they do not see us laughing hysterically. It is the best we can do to not encourage this behavior.
So, just remember, even though they are constantly in their little world, you never know when they are listening. We were lucky, my daughter blurted out her verbal slur in the comfort of our own home. For you, it could be the grocery store or church. Just be careful what you say 'cause they are taking it all in.
Thursday, March 20, 2008
Letters from Prison
Everywhere you go in this country, or even this world, you can find a postcard of that place. Even if you are in the most backwards, hillbilly town. Everyone has a chance to let someone else know where they have been no matter where they go. I think this should go for prisoners also.
Doesn't seem fair that they cannot let loved ones know where they have been with a colorful descriptive note. Maybe something that shows their facilities or a picture of their cell. They could have clever notes on them like "Wish You Were Here," or "My Son and My Taxes Go To San Quentin!" I believe this will help with rehabilitation.
Other possible prison postcard slogans:
"My Prison Bitch Can Beat Up Your Prison Bitch"
"Prison: THE best place to find Jesus"
"Three hots and a cot beotch"
"Prison: The birth place of soap on a rope"
"I miss you. See ya' in 3 to 5"
Doesn't seem fair that they cannot let loved ones know where they have been with a colorful descriptive note. Maybe something that shows their facilities or a picture of their cell. They could have clever notes on them like "Wish You Were Here," or "My Son and My Taxes Go To San Quentin!" I believe this will help with rehabilitation.
Other possible prison postcard slogans:
"My Prison Bitch Can Beat Up Your Prison Bitch"
"Prison: THE best place to find Jesus"
"Three hots and a cot beotch"
"Prison: The birth place of soap on a rope"
"I miss you. See ya' in 3 to 5"
Wednesday, March 19, 2008
Sex Education
No one ever really taught me about having sex. I had to learn it all on my own. I wasn’t too worried though. No one taught me how to masturbate either, but I pretty much conquered that.
The best my parents could do was a brief speech after my Mother attended an informative session about teens and sex at our church. She got home and said, “Brian…don’t ever have sex.” Apparently, they talked a lot about STDs and it freaked her out. That was the extent of my birds and bees. I didn’t really try and listen to her, but apparently it stuck with me for a while!
We had sex education in high school. I never understood the point of that. What do they expect teenagers to learn by showing hilarious pictures and movies while you are surrounded by all of your friends. They should just give everyone a hooker and let someone with real life experience direct the lesson.
The best my parents could do was a brief speech after my Mother attended an informative session about teens and sex at our church. She got home and said, “Brian…don’t ever have sex.” Apparently, they talked a lot about STDs and it freaked her out. That was the extent of my birds and bees. I didn’t really try and listen to her, but apparently it stuck with me for a while!
We had sex education in high school. I never understood the point of that. What do they expect teenagers to learn by showing hilarious pictures and movies while you are surrounded by all of your friends. They should just give everyone a hooker and let someone with real life experience direct the lesson.
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