Procreation Testing

There was a news article today about a child abuse case where the adults put two children into a dryer and turned it on. Yes, extremely horrible. The man that did it, apparently not the father, said he was looking for a cost efficient method to entertain the children. Yea, nice try tard.

I have always been a proponent of there being some kind of test you have to take in order to have children. There are just way too many stupid people out there having children. This doesn't hurt the parents, they are already stupid, but we could eradicate stupidity if some precautionary measures were taken.

Below are some sample questions from the Procreation Test:

#5. What major appliances are safe to place your children in?
A. Refrigerator
B. Dryer
C. Dishwasher
D. None of the Above

#13. You have $10 and no food for your kids. Should you spend the $10 on:
A. Beer
B. Milk and Bread
C. Just put your kids in the dryer
D. Take the money to the track and double it

#19. Your son is acting up and hits you. You should?
A. Put him in the dryer
B. Reprimand him and explain why hitting is wrong
C. Punch him in the face really hard

#24. Your baby wakes up in the middle of the night crying and won't go back to sleep and you have to be at work early. You should:
A. Get up and comfort her until she falls back to sleep
B. Let her cry it out
C. Roll her over so her face is jammed into the mattress
D. Put her in the dryer

#31. Your child says a swear word in public. You should:
A. Pull him aside and explain why that word is improper
B. Tell him to shut the fuck up
C. Toss him in the bed of the truck, speed home and put him in the dryer

If you got any of these sample questions wrong, DO NOT HAVE CHILDREN. If you got them right, but still aren't confident in yourself or your partner, please seek out the entire test at your local child abuse prevention facility. Best of luck to you and please make the right choice. Answer key below.


ANSWERS: #5. D; #13. B; #19. B; #24 A or B; #31. A