Quotes To Live By (And Some Others)

“Give me the biggest guy in the world, you crush his knee, he’ll fall like a stone.”
-Patrick Swayze, Roadhouse

“My lips hurt real bad”
-Napolean Dynamite

“Forget the curveball Ricky, give ‘em the heater”
-Coach Brown, Major League

“You tellin’ me Jesus Christ can’t hit a curveball?”
-Harris, Major League

“If I don’t see you, keep on…keep truckin’.”
-Frank the Tank, Old School

“These boogers are hard to get out!”
-My Daughter, age 3

“Where am I? And why am I in 2/3s of a hospital room?”
-Gob, Arrested Development

“What do you think of the name Sudden Valley?” “It makes me think of salad dressing, but for some reason, I don’t want to eat it.”
-Michael, Arrested Development

“The things you own begin to own you.”
-Tyler Durdin, Fight Club

“A flute with no holes is not a flute. A doughnut with no hole is a Danish.”
-Zen Philosopher, Basho

“Forget gun control. We should have bullet control. We should make bullets cost $5000 a piece. If bullets cost $5000, there wouldn’t be any more innocent bystanders!”
-Chris Rock

“Don’t eat red meat. Don’t eat white meat. Fuck that…don’t eat green meat.”
-Chris Rock

“Hold your fuckin’ moment.”
-Some random thug in a Vegas strip club

“You are sooo good looking!”
-Seinfeld

“Well it’s hard to do anything with Captain Cuckoo Bananas in charge.”
-Homer Simpson

“Don’t act like you’re not impressed.”
-Ron Burgundy, Anchor Man

“Jelly doughnut comin’.”
-Doug McKenzie, Strange Brew

“I am serious, and don’t call me Shirley.”
-Leslie Nielsen, Airplane!

“Pain don’t hurt.”
-Dalton, Roadhouse