One of Those Days

Overall, having kids is a wonderful thing. It is without a doubt the best decision I have ever made. But some days, I have to wonder.

This morning was very rough for me. I am not a very patient person and in the mornings it is amplified. This is when having kids is particularly difficult.

We, as a family, were running late and I hate being late. My daughter was fussing about something minute and ridiculous. I believe she didn't want to wear the all purple outfit I had picked out (I thought she looked cute!). My son is running around knocking over everything and banging anything and everything onto the floor. There is a tremendous amount of noise and now my daughter is starting to cry. This only adds to my impatience.

I am walking a thin line now between freaking out and just leaving and letting my wife take the kids to their day cares. This last action would probably not allow me to come home anymore. Yet, I am still tempted!

OK, we got my daughter calmed down enough to stop crying, put on her backpack and head out the door. We have successfully caught my son and he is in my arms and we head to the auto.

Getting in the car is pretty successful. No complaints there. The girl is still teary, but attentive. The ride to school is calm and some minor conversing between me and my daughter occurs. She normally gets dropped off first and when we arrive, her tears kick back in. Her teachers try to console her, but nothing is working and she is not letting go of me. I am late, but my heart is melting and I am struggling internally because I need to go and I am worn out emotionally, but she needs me too.

Finally, I break free of her kung fu grip and unfortunately leave the tears to the teachers. My son and I head to his school. No, things aren't better yet because it is now after 8am and this is when all the suck ass drivers leave their houses. So I am dealing with the crap traffic while my son is oblivious telling a story in some weird language that is a cross between English, Spanish and Martian...it is funny, but I am just not in the mood.

We get to his school just in time to have some other jackass parent take the parking spot by the front door as we pull up! I have to let it go...if not I am really going to snap. I park and head around to the back seat to get my boy. As usual, he has taken off his right shoe. Yea, he does this every time we get in the car. I find the shoe and put it back on. He immediately kicks it off again. AWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!! I am at the breaking point.

I get him out and inside his school. He loses interest in me immediately and I take advantage of this and head out to find salvation. I park the car at home and run inside to drop off the keys, change shoes, grab lunch, kiss wife and hurry to the bus where I can finally sit quietly and just read my book in peace.

Unfortunately, I am having trouble calming down this morning. I can't stop thinking about all the things that I wish were different in my life. I can't stop thinking about the decisions that were made or weren't made. I am getting more and more tired and a little depressed. And then...

I turn the page of my book and there is a giant orange crayon mark going straight up the middle and I smile.