Panda Express

Apparently, a panda bear in the Beijing zoo has attacked a third person. Yet, people continue to enter into the bear's habitat! How dumb can a human be?

Now, mind you, none of the incidents were the panda's fault. He was simply protecting his home. I would do the same, but hopefully less fur would be involved.

One victim/moron was an ignorant teenager. The latest was a guy that was trying to retrieve a toy his child had dropped. The third, and best one, was a drunk guy that wanted to hug the panda.

Let's examine the incidents one-by-one, shall we:

Teenager: Teenagers tend to be stupid. 'Bout all that needs to be said 'bout that.

Toy Dad: If you can have and raise a child, don't you think you might have enough sense to ask a zoo worker, hell, maybe even a panda bear expert, to help you retrieve the toy? Instead you make your child witness your horribly bloody demise at the paws of a vicious and frightened beast.

Drunk Guy: First of all...who gets drunk at the zoo? Do they even sell alcohol at the zoo? And if so, what kind of day are you having that getting blitzed at the zoo is your only alternative? Is there a bar there called The Bear Cave?

I have formulated a, more than likely, legitimate idea of the events preceding the drunken trip to the zoo. It is as follows:

"Man, I don't think there is a place in this world where I haven't been drunk," exclaimed Ying.

"Oh yea," retorted his good buddy Yang, "You ever been hammered in a zoo?"

"Crap Yang, I think you got me there. Best make good on my word," replied Ying. "Let's get our asses to the zoo. Hell, I might even hug me a panda!"

And scene.


And, for my Chinese readers:

"男人，我不認為在我沒有被喝過的這個世界有一個地方," exclaimed Ying.

"啊，贊成," retorted his good buddy Yang, "你從來在一個動物園連續工作?"

"廢話楊，我認為你在那裡得到我。最好地在我的文字上成功," replied Ying. "讓我們把我們的蠢驢送到動物園。地獄，我甚至可能擁抱我一隻熊貓!"

And Scene.