Tuesday, June 24, 2008
I'm For McBama
Will either one make a difference? I don't feel like they will, so why throw your support behind either one. Politicians are a lot like food...sometimes they look healthy and you think they are good for you, but in the end it all turns out to be shit.
Monday, June 23, 2008
Pregnancy Pact
There is a story that a bunch of Massachusettes high school girls formed a pact that they would all get pregnant and raise their babies together. It is a predominantly catholic town and this sort of rebellion would fit nicely under Popish rule, but I am not positive this is the case.
I think it is much more likely that a bunch of guys formed a pact to get as many girls pregnant as they could. What a fun week that would be.
I think it is much more likely that a bunch of guys formed a pact to get as many girls pregnant as they could. What a fun week that would be.
Thursday, June 19, 2008
Friday, June 13, 2008
R. Kelly Acquitted
R. Kelly was acquitted today and a precedent has been set...you can pee on anyone you want to.
ZIPPERS DOWN PEOPLE!!!
-B. Pierce
ZIPPERS DOWN PEOPLE!!!
-B. Pierce
Wednesday, June 11, 2008
Tuesday, June 10, 2008
Awesome Wifery
Gotta post a bit about how awesome my wife is (who is in San Francisco and I will miss terribly!). This is just to show the kind of things I tend to do and she puts up with without a second thought.
The other day, I had to go into work early and stay late, leaving her to manage the kids. The same day I had lunch with my ex-girlfriend. And then in the afternoon, when my wife called to say she was outside my building and would I come down and say hi, I brought another girl down with me.
Do I go too far? Am I pushing my luck and threatening the very bonds that bound my wife and I? Maybe.
All I know is that I have the most awesome, patient, understanding, trusting, best friendy, kick ass wife of all time and I am very thankful. Rest assured, I make sure she knows it every day!
Oh yea, she is probably the world's greatest Mom also (I only say probably, because I haven't met them all yet)!
Peace in all. Love ya' babe!
P.S. Can this count as an anniversary present?
The other day, I had to go into work early and stay late, leaving her to manage the kids. The same day I had lunch with my ex-girlfriend. And then in the afternoon, when my wife called to say she was outside my building and would I come down and say hi, I brought another girl down with me.
Do I go too far? Am I pushing my luck and threatening the very bonds that bound my wife and I? Maybe.
All I know is that I have the most awesome, patient, understanding, trusting, best friendy, kick ass wife of all time and I am very thankful. Rest assured, I make sure she knows it every day!
Oh yea, she is probably the world's greatest Mom also (I only say probably, because I haven't met them all yet)!
Peace in all. Love ya' babe!
P.S. Can this count as an anniversary present?
Monday, June 2, 2008
Behind The Ejaculation: Sperm Donation
I recently saw an add for sperm donation here in New York. The ad said $75-150 per donation. This made me overly curious about, not only the operation, but mainly the basis of pay rate for these donations.
How do they decide what sperm is worth $75 and what is worth $150? Does your appearance play a factor? Your education? Your hygiene?
Is it strictly based on quality or is it quantity? Does speed play a factor (God, I hope so)? Texture? Color? Scent? Any of these?
Perhaps it is more based on consistency, elasticity or durability?
Maybe even still it is the degree to which your donation process took place. Maybe you receive less money the more "assistance" you require. I heard that movies or reading materials are provided to help you in your time of need. Do they place a value on these rentals? I have to assume that occasionally, assistance through manual labor is required from the staff. That just led to a horrible vision of my middle school nurse trying to help me "finish the job." Not sure I would be up to the task.
I am overly curious about how much the sperm banks pay for your donation. Unfortunately, there is only one sure-fire (hee hee) way to find out. If I ever get the balls (again, hee hee) to try it out, I will report back. I do love money, but I usually reserve my donations for more special occasions. Quite a quandary I have here.
Other potential titles for this piece:
-To Donate or Not To Donate...Sperm
-Sperm Donation: The Icky Sticky Truth
-Who Let The Sperm Out?
-Got Sperm?
-Sperm Bank: Deposit or Withdrawal?
-The Value of Your Seed
-Pour Some Sugar On Me
How do they decide what sperm is worth $75 and what is worth $150? Does your appearance play a factor? Your education? Your hygiene?
Is it strictly based on quality or is it quantity? Does speed play a factor (God, I hope so)? Texture? Color? Scent? Any of these?
Perhaps it is more based on consistency, elasticity or durability?
Maybe even still it is the degree to which your donation process took place. Maybe you receive less money the more "assistance" you require. I heard that movies or reading materials are provided to help you in your time of need. Do they place a value on these rentals? I have to assume that occasionally, assistance through manual labor is required from the staff. That just led to a horrible vision of my middle school nurse trying to help me "finish the job." Not sure I would be up to the task.
I am overly curious about how much the sperm banks pay for your donation. Unfortunately, there is only one sure-fire (hee hee) way to find out. If I ever get the balls (again, hee hee) to try it out, I will report back. I do love money, but I usually reserve my donations for more special occasions. Quite a quandary I have here.
Other potential titles for this piece:
-To Donate or Not To Donate...Sperm
-Sperm Donation: The Icky Sticky Truth
-Who Let The Sperm Out?
-Got Sperm?
-Sperm Bank: Deposit or Withdrawal?
-The Value of Your Seed
-Pour Some Sugar On Me
CCMA
That stands for the Canadian Country Music Awards or Canadian Country Music Association, depending on who you are talking to. I am intrigued, confused, bewildered and kind of shocked by my recent discovery of this.
I do not like country music. Well, let me clarify, I do not like any country music made after about 1993. I think it is dumb. Plain and simple. When it stopped being about the music and more about the show, I was done.
Having said that, did I belive country music could get worse than it is? No, I did not...until I discovered CCMA. Can there be anything worse than this? I submit that there cannot.
Congratulations country music. Your suckiness has crossed borders.
I do not like country music. Well, let me clarify, I do not like any country music made after about 1993. I think it is dumb. Plain and simple. When it stopped being about the music and more about the show, I was done.
Having said that, did I belive country music could get worse than it is? No, I did not...until I discovered CCMA. Can there be anything worse than this? I submit that there cannot.
Congratulations country music. Your suckiness has crossed borders.
The Power of LSU
I love being reminded what it is like to be a Louisiana State University Fighting Tiger. What it means is that you have a friend no matter where you go.
I was just taking a walk around my office building in Times Square to help wake up a little (had a long and exhausting weekend that included too much alcohol, not enough sleep and some really bad golf). As I get close to the door of my building, I see a man wearing an LSU shirt and hat. As I usually do when I see someone dawning this garb, I say "Go Tigers!"
More often than not, my simple greeting of camaraderie and understanding is returned with a smile and then a conversation with a total stranger. They are strangers only for a moment. The LSU connection brands you as life long friends from that point on.
This time was no different. The nice man was here on vacation from Lafayette, La. and was more than happy to talk about Louisiana and LSU sports. It's easy when your football team is reigning National Football Champions and the baseball team just won their regional with their 23rd straight victory, an NCAA record.
It basically makes me happy to know I am part of something so big and comforting. LSU is steeped in tradition and loyalty. Southerners are a very friendly group in general, but Tiger fans take it a little further. I am thrilled and thankful to be a part of it.
I was just taking a walk around my office building in Times Square to help wake up a little (had a long and exhausting weekend that included too much alcohol, not enough sleep and some really bad golf). As I get close to the door of my building, I see a man wearing an LSU shirt and hat. As I usually do when I see someone dawning this garb, I say "Go Tigers!"
More often than not, my simple greeting of camaraderie and understanding is returned with a smile and then a conversation with a total stranger. They are strangers only for a moment. The LSU connection brands you as life long friends from that point on.
This time was no different. The nice man was here on vacation from Lafayette, La. and was more than happy to talk about Louisiana and LSU sports. It's easy when your football team is reigning National Football Champions and the baseball team just won their regional with their 23rd straight victory, an NCAA record.
It basically makes me happy to know I am part of something so big and comforting. LSU is steeped in tradition and loyalty. Southerners are a very friendly group in general, but Tiger fans take it a little further. I am thrilled and thankful to be a part of it.
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